Try to be nice.

See the title? We're forced to remind ourselves of this every time we go out with the girls. People are interested in twins, I get it (especially ones as cute as ours. I'm just sayin'.) And, when they're interested they usually try to engage us in conversation so they have an excuse to oggle the ladybugs a little more. Unfortunately, "cute" makes some brains turn to mush. After all, just look at me and my record of bringing home stray animals.

So, to summarize: Cute + twins - brains = inane commentary.

When Sean goes out with the girls, he constantly hears small talk like, "You're so brave!", "Quite a handful you've got there", "You're all by yourself?", and "Where's mom?" The general public is constantly commenting on how great it is to see Daddy out with two babies. But does anyone say to me, "Where's Daddy?" or "It's so great you're out with them on your own, Mom"? Nope. I'm SUPPOSED to be able to do this because I'm mommy. At this point (because they're bottle fed), Sean has the same skill sets that I do! There is nothing inherently different about him and I that makes me more competent with twin babies or him less. No one ever thinks twice about it when it's just me. So why is everyone so impressed?

Because guys are slackers, that's why. They use their gender as an excuse not to do things like rock a baby or change a diaper. Do you think a mom could say, "I can't change diapers because they make me squeamish" and get away with it? (Maybe in an episode of not-so-Real Housewives.) We're supposed to be in a world of equality, but as far as I can see, guys are more than willing to cut and run when it comes to baby stuff. (Sean and several of our wonderful dad-friends excluded, of course.) It's a racket. And a clever one at that. Not only do they get out of helping with the down-and-dirties, they get tons of kudos on the rare occasion they DO participate. So maybe guys are smarter than girls after all....

But the public comments aren't limited to expressions of awe about Sean. Those eyeballs see the girls, send a message to the brain...and it shuts down faster than Enron. All that comes out of their mouth after that point is the equivalent of Ashley Simpson music - you could listen, but why would you want to? Just to make fun of it later, that's why.

"Oh, a boy and a girl?" - What tipped you off, the baby dressed entirely in lavender, or the one completely in pink?

"Do twins run in your family?" - I'm tempted to design biology pamphlets explaining why identical twins aren't genetic... and then staple it to the person's forehead.

"Wait'll they're teenagers" - Always hilarious and encouraging, as well as entirely new and creative. Yup, never gets old.

"How do you tell them apart?" - Why would we need to? The beauty is that they're interchangable!

"Are they twins?" - There's two?!

Sean's answer to this question is: "No, but their moms are!"

And they're only 6 months old. I have a lot of "be nice" reminders in my future, don't I? Those of you who know me are aware that my filter isn't always that great and sometimes, eeeee-very once in a while, I let slip what's really on my mind. Maybe instead of a college fund we should be stashing away legal defense fees for Mommy. Although if a judge heard some of what people say I would clearly be justified in afore mentioned forehead stapling.