Cooking with Britt - Coffee Cake Blueberry Muffins

I needed a really, really, really good blueberry muffin recipe, having been exasperatingly furstrated with all of the flat, tasteless attempts at past recipes, so I turned to my favorite resource of all: FoodNetwork.com. Not only do they have recipes from people who are good enough to have their own television show, everything is rated by people like you and I so I know someone not only tried it successfully, but thought it was good enough to take the time to come back and let other people know. Best of all are the comments that people leave, especially the notes they make about the things they changed and suggestions for improvements, which I can absolutely appreciate.

So, here is the wildly successful recipe I found, with the a la Britt edits. Oh, and in case you wondered, hardly any of my recipes could be considered "light", this one included. Butter just makes baking better!!

Coffee Cake Blueberry Muffins

12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temp
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
8 ounces (about 1 cup) sour cream
1/4 cup milk
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups fresh or frozen blueberries (Prep by tossing with a few tablespoons flour. Trust me.)

Preheat the oven to 350. Place 14 paper liners in muffin pans. (I tried 13 once - it didn't work.)
Cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs 1 at a time, then add the vanilla, sour cream, and milk.

In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add the flour mixture to batter and stir by hand until just incorporated. Don't overstir. This batter is thick and beaters steal half of it, so I used a spoon. Fold in the blueberries carefully at the very end.

Fill each muffin cup just over the top, (it's a thick batter, so pile it on!) and bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until the muffins are lightly browned on top. The pan with less muffins will cook faster so keep an eye on it.

*I tried a streusel topping on one attempt at these, because who doesn't like struesel, but it kept the muffins from rising as well, so I nixed that. Follow your heart on this one.

Winter Whirlwind

If you're like Sean and I, you have multiple sets of family that you want to spend time with for Christmas, which means either someone is unhappy or you commit yourself to a whirlwind of activity and barely get to truly enjoy any of it. How come there isn't a carol about that?

This year, instead of going to my aunt and uncle's house for Christmas Eve (where last year we announced our pregnancy and, really, how could we top that?) Sean and I decided to spend a quiet evening at home, having a little quality time, resting up for the upcoming flurry of activity, and preparing food and gifts to bring with us the next day. The main reason for this decision was that the girls start to get fussy around 5:30 and go down to bed within an hour after that. We could have kept them in their car seats to sleep while we mingled, but we risked disrupting their schedule and having angry babies (picture Godzilla attacking Tokyo, but smaller) during Christmas Day. And we needed them to be cooperative for Christmas. So we stayed home and I made Crispy Black Bean Tacos for dinner (see recipe in earlier post), cheesecake for Christmas Day dinner, coffee cake blueberry muffins for brunch (another outstanding recipe soon to be added to "Cooking with Britt") and Sean made chocolate chip walnut cookies while we watched Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince. It was a great night.

The next day, Sean and I opened our presents to each other and the girls. Although, while I was making muffins the night before, Sean looked at his present and asked, "Is it the IPod cable for the Highlander?" Nailed it. Totally took the wind out of my sails. (Price is Right overbid sound here.) I tried to cover up my shock, but I'm not good at lying to Sean, so he knew. It sounds like an odd gift, but it has to be installed in the car and allows us to see the IPod options over the navigation system screen, so is safer for when we play "keep it or skip it" and has to be bought at the dealer, so is definitely a luxury item. Sean got me a pair of pearl earrings he remembered me mentioning (so sweet) and proved how well he knows me by getting me Alton Brown's cookbook, which I've been fascinated by ever since, opening at every spare moment to read the next tidbit. For those who don't know, Alton Brown teaches the science behind cooking and spices (ha!) it up with trivia and fun facts about food origins. Totally up my alley.

We hustled out the door bright and early to my parents for brunch and present opening with the rest of my family. My brother and his fiancée were over an hour late, which is pretty much how they roll these days, so we started without them. I dressed the girls in frilly, poofy party dresses and little white tights, since my mom wanted them to be in "something nice" for the holidays and, while it was cute, these were not sensible outfits. The girls kept getting scratched by the tulle under the skirts, everything kept riding up since they wiggle so much, and the skirt itself wound up in their mouths most of the time. I changed them to some red onsie tops and bottoms that said, "Daddy's favorite present", complete with matching Santa hats, courtesy of our fantastic neighbors who are like another set of grandparents for the ladybugs, and this was a much more sensible outfit.

We spent two hours there, which wasn't nearly enough time to sit, relax, catch up with everyone, and enjoy the morning, but we had places to be, things to do, people to see!

Our next stop was a slightly longer visit with Sean's dad, Rod, his wife Gayle, and Sean's sister, Tanya, her husband, Scott, and kids Curtis and Darian, who all came over from Sequim. Rod was diagnosed last year with multiple myeloma and completed chemo and a stem cell transplant this month, so his immune system is practically non-existent at this point. What we didn't realize until the week before is that he's not supposed to be around anyone who had a live immunization within the last 30 days. Like...say... Charlotte and Lilah, who had their 6 month shots on the 15th. Whoops. But all we knew how important it was to bring them to spend their first Christmas with the whole family, so we had to make sure that anyone who held the girls had to wash their hands after and could no longer come in contact with Rod (sad face), and we all had to try to contain the girls' possible contamination, which is easier said than done with little ones who wiggle this much and are currently fascinated with blowing raspberries and forming swimming pools of drool. I think we did ok - no reports from Rod of any problems.

Sean then took his Dad's car back to our house to feed the dog and pick up our dessert. The car needed to be driven and have the fluids checked since it's been sitting around most of the winter. I went ahead to my grandma's house with the girls and Sean wasn't far behind - but missing the cheesecake. Wah?! Bummer. But I guess that means more for me! We ate, again, shared some laughs, and headed home, exhausted and stuffed to our ears with holiday goodies.

On Saturday, my parents took the girls for their very first sleep-over so Sean and I could have our first real date since the girls came home and even get some sleep. I had been looking forward to this for WEEKS. I carried about 40 pounds of gear into their house, gave some quick instructions, and then hit the road. We went to the Main Street Ale House and had some beers and dinner and did our best not to make the ladybugs our sole topic of conversation. We started looking at movie times on Sean's phone and you could feel the enthusiasm hit the floor with a thunk. We decided to just go home and go to bed, and were there by 9 p.m. Yup, we're officially lame-o parents. But it was so nice get away, just the two of us and focus on each other for a change. Good beer didn't hurt either.

And thus was our weekend. Phew.

From Charlotte and Lilah together

Cooking with Britt - Crispy Black Bean Tacos

I saw this recipe in the Seattle PI months and months ago and thought it looked fantastic, so I made it (with some tweaks, a la Britt) and fell in love. And, like many initial infatuations, I then forgot all about it. But I found myself dreaming about crunching into these a few weeks ago, bought the ingredients and waited for the right night - you know, one where I actually have time to put multiple ingredients together and cook it all up. On Christmas Eve, since Sean and I were staying home in the interest of keeping the ladybugs cheerful for Christmas Day, I wanted to make something special for the two of us to share and Sean suggested these tacos. I almost drooled like Roscoe but refrained from spinning excitedly in a circle and spraying slobber everywhere.

Then, I found myself talking about the recipe with a co-worker and realized that it's one of those great recipes I just have to share with others. And since I have a forum for that kind of stuff (mwuh-ha-ha-ha!!), here it is!

Crispy Black Bean Tacos with Feta and Cabbage Slaw
15-ounce can black beans, drained
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 white or yellow corn tortillas
3 tablespoons lime juice, fresh is best
5 teaspoons olive oil, divided
2 cups coleslaw mix
2 green onions, chopped
1/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro
Ground black pepper, to taste
Hot sauce, to taste - I like Tapatio best for this application
1/3 cup crumbled feta cheese, Cojito would work too.

In a small bowl, combine the beans, cumin and salt. Use a fork to partially mash.
Divide the mixture between the tortillas, spreading it evenly over 1 side of each. Set aside.

In a medium bowl, combine the lime juice and 2 teaspoons of the olive oil. Add the coleslaw mix, scallions and cilantro, then toss well. Season with pepper and hot sauce. Set aside. (Make two batches because once you taste it you'll want to eat this stuff all on it's own, and then you won't have enough for the tacos.)

In a large skillet over medium-high, heat the remaining 3 teaspoons of olive oil. Add the tortillas in a single layer, bean side up, in batches if necessary, and cook for 1 minute. Fold the tacos in half, then cook for about another minute per side, or until golden brown.

Fill each taco with some of the coleslaw mixture and top with a sprinkle of feta cheese. Add more hot sauce here if you want.

I also topped with some diced avacado. Because I can.
I'm drooling again. *slurp*

Cooking with Britt - Cranberry Sauce

I like to cook. More importantly, I like good food, prepared to my taste, and cheap. Which means cooking it myself is the best solution unless it's Papa John's pizza or Yia Yia ice cream. Usually I get a hankering for something (hankering is a surprisingly underused word in my opinion), and then try to find a recipe that seems about right. I hardly ever follow the recipe exactly - I consider them to be more "guidelines" than anything else - and, in my humble opinion, it usually turns out to be pretty darn good.

Sometimes it takes several efforts before I master it, as is the case with my homemade cranberry sauce recipe, which actually started life as a cranberry chutney. I make it every year, sometimes for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, and every year something changes. This year I was given the most solid of compliments yet: Sean, who adores the gelatinous, wobbly, can-shaped version of cranberry sauce, actually said that mine topped that. Now, some might not see that as a compliment because, really, who could do worse than the canned sauce, right? But to him, this was a James Beard award.

So, in the spirit of the holidays, and with the potential for this to become a regular feature, here is:

Britt's Cranberry Sauce
1/2 mild onion, diced (yellow or sweet onion will do)
3 tbsp. butter
4 cups fresh cranberries (or two small bags)
1 cup dried apricots
Two apples, peeled, cored and diced
Zest and juice of one orange
Pinch of salt
1/2 cup candied ginger, diced small (this is a KEY ingredient)
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup candied or roasted pecans or walnuts, chopped (you can candy by spraying with Pam, tossing with some sugar, and baking in an oven until the sugar is melted up, about 10 minutes - or just roast without sugar if preferred - then chop)

Sautee the onions with the butter until clear, then toss everything else in the pot except for the nuts and simmer at medium-low stirring every few minutes. I like to pop the cranberries as they get hot - kind of like bubble wrap! After about 15 minutes everything will have cooked down and you shouldn't see any chunks of fruit any longer. Toss in the nuts just before serving!

This is an inexact recipe - the actual measurements aren't crucial, so don't worry about measuring cups and spoons, etc., just eyeball it and if you want more or less of anything, go for it. Seriously.

Most of the ingredients can be prepped a day or two ahead of time and then just thrown together, which makes it much easier. This recipe written out makes it look more difficult than it actually is, but take my word for it - easy-peasy.

I feel like I need a catch phrase to wrap up food posts.... How about "Yu-hum!" or "Straight to my hips and worth every ounce"? No, those aren't quite right. I'm open to suggestions - if I pick yours, I might show up at your door with food!

Try to be nice.

See the title? We're forced to remind ourselves of this every time we go out with the girls. People are interested in twins, I get it (especially ones as cute as ours. I'm just sayin'.) And, when they're interested they usually try to engage us in conversation so they have an excuse to oggle the ladybugs a little more. Unfortunately, "cute" makes some brains turn to mush. After all, just look at me and my record of bringing home stray animals.

So, to summarize: Cute + twins - brains = inane commentary.

When Sean goes out with the girls, he constantly hears small talk like, "You're so brave!", "Quite a handful you've got there", "You're all by yourself?", and "Where's mom?" The general public is constantly commenting on how great it is to see Daddy out with two babies. But does anyone say to me, "Where's Daddy?" or "It's so great you're out with them on your own, Mom"? Nope. I'm SUPPOSED to be able to do this because I'm mommy. At this point (because they're bottle fed), Sean has the same skill sets that I do! There is nothing inherently different about him and I that makes me more competent with twin babies or him less. No one ever thinks twice about it when it's just me. So why is everyone so impressed?

Because guys are slackers, that's why. They use their gender as an excuse not to do things like rock a baby or change a diaper. Do you think a mom could say, "I can't change diapers because they make me squeamish" and get away with it? (Maybe in an episode of not-so-Real Housewives.) We're supposed to be in a world of equality, but as far as I can see, guys are more than willing to cut and run when it comes to baby stuff. (Sean and several of our wonderful dad-friends excluded, of course.) It's a racket. And a clever one at that. Not only do they get out of helping with the down-and-dirties, they get tons of kudos on the rare occasion they DO participate. So maybe guys are smarter than girls after all....

But the public comments aren't limited to expressions of awe about Sean. Those eyeballs see the girls, send a message to the brain...and it shuts down faster than Enron. All that comes out of their mouth after that point is the equivalent of Ashley Simpson music - you could listen, but why would you want to? Just to make fun of it later, that's why.

"Oh, a boy and a girl?" - What tipped you off, the baby dressed entirely in lavender, or the one completely in pink?

"Do twins run in your family?" - I'm tempted to design biology pamphlets explaining why identical twins aren't genetic... and then staple it to the person's forehead.

"Wait'll they're teenagers" - Always hilarious and encouraging, as well as entirely new and creative. Yup, never gets old.

"How do you tell them apart?" - Why would we need to? The beauty is that they're interchangable!

"Are they twins?" - There's two?!

Sean's answer to this question is: "No, but their moms are!"

And they're only 6 months old. I have a lot of "be nice" reminders in my future, don't I? Those of you who know me are aware that my filter isn't always that great and sometimes, eeeee-very once in a while, I let slip what's really on my mind. Maybe instead of a college fund we should be stashing away legal defense fees for Mommy. Although if a judge heard some of what people say I would clearly be justified in afore mentioned forehead stapling.

Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for 6 months!

The girls had their 6 month appointment this week and I think I can safely say that they're quickly catching up to their peers!

Let's start with non-adjusted growth:
Lilah - Height 2' 1.25" (28th percentile), weight 12lb 1.7 oz (1st percentile), head 43 cm (64th percentile)

Charlotte - Height 2' 1" (20th percentile), weight 12lb 6.4oz (1.5 percentile), head 42.5 cm (49th percentile)

Yes, a quarter inch in length equals an 8 percentile points difference and a half cm in head equals 15 percentile points difference.

Yes, the girls are greater then or equal to more than half of their peers when it comes to head size (say thank you to Daddy, ladybugs!)

And yes, Charlotte and Lilah, at 6 months, are nearly half my height.

I forget about how tiny these little ones are until I hear from other moms. One has a 4 month old that is 18 pounds, another's 6 month old was over 20 pounds. When I set the girls into their cribs with only one arm I think about how much harder it would be if they weighed what they're supposed to. But, they're quickly growing out of all of their clothes because they can't straighten their legs in the PJs or have the pant legs go up to their knees. Who knew that children of mine would be too TALL?

The ladybugs are also catching up with the 6 month developmental milestones: holds head steady when upright, sits with support, rolls over front to back and back to front independently, supports self in standing position (assisted), reaches for objects, recognizes own name, smiles spontaneously, squeals in delight, babbles to toys, transfers objects from hand to hand (Charlotte has a little more hand control), pulls to sit with no head lag, turns to voices, get attention by babbling instead of crying.

They also do a few things that are above their age: moves body with excitement in anticipation of playing, enjoys peek-a-boo, works to get a toy that is out of reach (they shuffle on their backs).

And a few that they aren't quite ready for: making noises that sound like attempts at speech, holds own bottle (Charlotte holds the bottle tightly but more out of comfort than trying to manage it), sits without support (those darn heads still).

They had to have 4 (!) shots at this visit, including the h1n1 that they're finally old enough to get. The clinic was out of one so they only got 3 shots, but something tells me that was more than enough. I've seen the girls cry for a variety of reasons, but rarely do they produce actual tears, and when they do, it's the saddest thing to see. Luckily, they recover quickly with a good cuddle unless they're exhausted, which Lilah was. We got out into the waiting room and got our first piece of unsolicited stranger advice (lucky us, I know, but we don't have a lot of chances to get them out much). Some older gentleman said, "You know, I was a nurse and babies usually calm down after shots if you cuddle them." I kindly responded, "We did, but she's very tired and more upset about that than anything." What I wanted to say, dripping with sarcasm, was, "Really? I never thought of that. Thank goodness I have complete strangers around to tell me what my baby needs! How can I ever thank you? Whatever you do, please, continue to offer unsolicited and entirely obvious advice to those around you!" But, I'm sure he meant well, so I kept that to myself.

Charlotte found her tongue this week, licking everything that comes near her mouth, including burp rags, blankets, hands (hers or someone else's), and our shoulders. I can ask where her tongue is, stick mine out and she will stick hers out for me to touch. She loves when I touch her tongue and is torn between keeping it held out and grinning from ear to ear. Let's hope that doesn't last past childhood.

Lilah is really getting the hang of this eating thing and absolutely loved the pureed banana with pear juice I made. (Don't be impressed. I have mini-Cuisinart and just dropped a banana in with some juice. It took about 20 seconds and made enough to last for weeks. I spoon some in little Dixie cups and freeze it.) Lilah opened her mouth wide whenever she saw the spoon coming and swallowed every single bite. Charlotte was reluctant to let the spoon into her mouth and still pushes her food out onto her chin, mostly because she's playing with the texture.

In other news, part of the reason I'm so delayed in posts is because I had strep throat the week before last and it pretty much wiped me (and my vacation balance) out.

And we had a bit of a scare with Roscoe this past weekend. I got home from work on Friday and he didn't greet me at the door with his usual enthusiasm. All evening, even when we were eating on the couch, he remained laying down in the lower living room, not even playing with a toy. When we heard him whimper we thought he was sleeping but looked and he was wide awake. We called him to join us on the couch and he very gingerly walked up the two steps, had difficulty jumping onto the couch and then piddled. All of this was very out of character for our sturdy and enthusiastic puppy. We looked him over and noticed that he had very little strength in his back legs and was trembling from head to toe. Not sure if he could have gotten into something, we called Nanntastic Cindy to see if he had been acting normal for her during the day. He had. So whatever it was came on suddenly. Sean, bless his heart, felt horrible that Roscoe couldn't get on and off our bed where he normally sleeps at night, so he coaxed Roscoe onto the low guest bed and slept in that chilly room with him all night so he wouldn't be alone. I took Roscoe to the vet in the morning (which involved me lifting all 67 pounds of him into and out of the truck - it's amazing how animals can somehow make themselves weigh more when they don't want to do something!) and she confirmed that it was pain in both hips, not some sort of paralysis. It could have been hip dysplasia, but that usually shows up in younger dogs (he's 5) and usually after a very active day (he hasn't had in active day since we got our Christmas tree). Another possibility was "sterile" meningitis, the sterile part meaning that it developed on it's own and wasn't contagious. She gave us anti-inflammatories to feed him twice a day and sure enough, he started acting better within a few hours. After the pills run out we'll see if he has a recurrence, but no one wanted to put him through x-rays and tests if it was something easily resolved. So now he's on and off the bed, begging for food, and back to his same old self. We're keeping our fingers crossed that he stays happy and healthy after this! He has two little girls to look after and they're going to be mobile soon!

6 months!!!

Quick update:
The girls turned 6 months old this Tuesday - how the time flies. Although, it took long enough that their 1st birthday still seems ages away!

Lilah slept through the night for the last two evenings and I'm crossing my fingers that these girls will synchronize their Swatches and perform this magical feat at the exact same time. (No, they don't have Swatches, but if they did, Charlotte's would be pink and Lilah's would be purple.)

Sleeping through the night may have something to do with the fact that they're working on the solid food thing. This weekend I cut, steamed and pureed both carrots and butternut squash to see how these higher fiber foods would be received, because the rice cereal was not doing us any favors. The girls still have no idea what this solid food thing is all about, but Lilah is better at opening her mouth to see what this new texture thing is. Nanntastic Cindy reported back that the carrots were a big flop (insert Price is Right over-bid sound here). Both girls made horrid faces with squinty eyes and squinched mouths and discovered that orange is a great color for clothes, faces and hair. Noted.

A few days later she tried the squash, which got the fun label "butt nut" on the container, with mixed results. This time the texture was a little more up their alley and Charlotte even opened her mouth for more. Nanntastic Cindy thought that they actually ingested quite a bit of it, which I interpreted to mean that she found less on their clothes than last time. And when the time came for their next bottle, they really weren't interested because they were still full! Success! We still aren't considering "butt nut" as a replacement for a meal, but it's a good start all the same.

Next week: Apples and bananas.

In other news, thanks to the amazing generosity of friends and family, and their children who grew far too quickly out of pre-purchased diapers, we have only had to buy diapers once in 6 months. But, this weekend I anticipate that the diaper well (maybe that's notthe best term?) will officially run dry. Not a bad stretch as far as I'm concerned, but since we still haven't seen a check from all those ad clicks you've been doing, it's going to cramp the budget a bit. Maybe we're close to reducing some formula costs in exchange for cheaper fruits and veggies? Fingers crossed.

I knew this would come.

There comes a single moment in the course of an infant's life when their parent knows for certain that their life has been irreparably changed in ways it was hard to truly envision until it actually happened to them. And when that moment comes, the parent shakes their head, has an inner dialogue about how they can't believe they are actually doing this ¹, and moves forward with a new badge of honor pinned to their shame vest. It's a difficult moment. It comes with immense responsibility.

It is the moment when a parent discusses their child's poo publicly.

I am a relatively conservative person when it comes to talking about bodily functions. I wasn't brought up to think vomit, feces, urine, flatulence or burping were ever an appropriate topic of conversation outside of a medical setting. But baby poop has suddenly become a significant player on my life-stage and it has made me realize that this is an inevitable fact and the time has come to face it. And this moment has come to me courtesy of Lilah.

When the girls first got home from the NICU, we used a white-board in their room to track the time and amounts of formula they ate and when they filled their diapers. This was necessary at the time because preemies' eating and diaper habits can quickly point to problems they're experiencing. Now that they're bigger and still healthy, we only track the last time they had a bowel movement.

"Last poo: Wed AM" is what the space below Lilah's name read. The evening of Thanksgiving, Lilah awoke several times in the night screaming, which was odd because normally she babbles loudly to let us know she is awake. (And on another note of significance, Charlotte slept through the entire night! ²) Lilah continued to be fussy and cried for me and then Nanntastic Cindy all day. We speculated that she might be working on a tooth, so gave her Tylenol and tried to comfort her. On Friday night, Lilah woke up screaming every hour. We rocked her ³ until she calmed down and then put her back into bed.

We realized on Saturday night that she was constipated beyond belief. We used several phrases to describe this: "The troops are stuck at the gate", "Logjam", "The turtle's pokin' it's head out" (thanks, Mike Myers), all of which speak for themselves. This little girl was in some serious pain. I tried pumping her legs. I tried taking her temperature "the ol' fashioned way". And, because I could actually see the poo languishing in the transitional zone, I even tried using a food syringe to suck part of it out. Nothing helped.

I called the Consulting Nurse to see if there were some more home remedies I could use. She suggested "P" juices (prune, plum, pear) and if, it came to it, an over-the-counter pediatric suppository. We mixed pear juice with Lilah's formula, and I was tasked with the lovely job of administering the suppository. If I could read her mind it probably would have been something like, "You do know what my problem is, right?! And you want to put more in there?! Are you freakin' kidding me?!" She was a screaming, miserable little girl.

And then we left! We had pre-arranged for my really good friend (because only a really good friend would watch your twin babies for hours while one of them screams bloody murder) Angie to watch the girls while we went on a Christmas Tree expedition in the Baker/Snoqualmie National Forest, and it was our last chance to go, so we kept the plans and hoped that a major blow-out would happen before she arrived. It didn't. And we came home to a still-screaming, miserable little girl. I administered another suppository. I am evil incarnate. I know. I got in a warm bath with her ³. It still didn't work.

Lilah continued to wake up every hour all Sunday night, screaming and inconsolable. Finally, at 5 a.m., I thought I would change her diaper and saw the turtle-head making an appearance. I like to think that my words of encouragement made a difference: "Come on, Lilah, You can do it! Push! Push! Keep going! You're almost there!" but it was probably just timing. And finally, after 5 days, very little sleep, and a lot of unhappiness all around, it was out.

I actually stood there for a moment admiring it. I debated whether to save it to show Sean. I thought about what I would compare it to so he would know exactly what we had been up against. This is about to be THE parenting moment. This poo was the size and shape of a wine cork and hard as a rock. This poo was huge. HUGE. Way too big for an 11 pound baby to have to pass. I don't know how fruit juice would have made a difference in softening or reducing this sucker, but I did know that whatever impact it had was probably waiting further upstream, so I had that to look forward to.

And yet, the adventure is not yet ended. With all of the strain, pushing, wiping and irritation she endured, her bottom is chapped and blistered, red and raw, and still causing us all (yes, most of all Lilah) continued misery. She won't sit on our laps to eat, instead arching her back or turning sideways. She cries when we set her on the changing pad, clenches her cheeks and straightens her legs so we're denied access. (Mostly me because I've obviously destroyed any trust that she had for my skills as a diaper-changer.)

The only good to come of this whole situation is that my independent girl, the one who pushes away and leans back so she can have a better view of everything going on around her, has, at least temporarily, become a cuddler. I was almost grateful at some points in the middle of the night as I held her close and she snuggled in against my chest, as I felt her breathing become calmer and slow, as I inhaled the sweet smell of her head and felt her pulse against the soft underside of my chin. I gently rocked from side to side, shifting my weight from one hip smoothly to the other hip, and hoped that she was enjoying this moment, this incredibly lovely moment, as much as I was.

And then she'd shriek.

1 - Granted, there are surely many of these moments yet to come. This however, is the first among the long series of shame badges I will earn as I move up the ranks of parenthood.

2 - Poor Charlotte. In addition to being second place in the attention rosters this week, she also has an amazing acheivement that has been overshadowed but is no less significant: Charlotte slept through the night 5 nights in a row! My long-awaited milestone!!

3 -This is love: 1) Holding a shrieking baby for as long as it takes in spite of permanent hearing loss; and 2) Taking a bath with a baby when you're actually hoping she will poop in the water.