Sean and Britt

Nanntastic Cindy was out of town on Thursday and Friday so when I saw her Monday morning it had been 4 days since she last saw the girls and I had a lot to catch her up on!

Charlotte has been Miss Smiley-pants for almost two weeks - giant grins from ear to ear at every opportunity, giggling and kicking extra hard when she is happy. Lilah had some smiles, but they were more like someone had pulled the corners of her mouth and they weren't nearly as frequent. She must have been a week behind her sister because Lilah is suddenly all smiles when she sees us coming or makes eye contact. But she's also a week ahead of Charlotte when it comes to talking. All weekend Lilah has been playing with her dangling toys and making cooing and babbling noises and talking to the world. Charlotte hasn't quite discovered her voice, but she has discovered her hands. Lilah wrings her hands together like a mad scientist, but Charlotte plops her thumb in her mouth and smacks away at it. She won't even touch a binky anymore because she likes her own thumb so much.

We can tell they both can see across the room now because they turn their heads and look at Roscoe as he walks around the house. And they get stronger every day. When we put the girls on our laps and bend them forward to burp them, they can nearly hold that position on their own now. Either that or they refuse to bend at all and insist on standing up instead. And when we're holding them against our chest, they'll lean back and turn their heads to get a better view of something, usually a few seconds before spitting up and missing our carefully placed burp rag entirely.

Both girls spend a lot of time on their play mat, which has arches that span from corner to corner that hold dangling toys. Usually the girls reach out for and bat at the toys, but they still don't have a lot of control over their spastic movements. But several times this weekend we saw both girls reach out and grab a plastic ring on the toy and then bring it to their mouth. The first of thousands, I'm sure.

Our sleep schedule is working well (when we don't have disruptions). Last night Lilah slept from 7 to 3:30 - Yes, that's 8.5 hours! She was awake again at 5:30, but she was just cheerful and awake, not hungry. Charlotte slept from 7-12:30 (5.5 hours) and was ravenous when she awoke, but then she fell fast asleep again and was still conked out when I left the house at 7. Now all we need to do is get their schedules to sync up a little more because that still left this mom with 3, 2, and then 1.5 hours of not so restful sleep.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

4 months!

Well, technically 4 months was October 8th, but our appointment wasn't until yesterday.

The girls weights were..*drumroll please*

Lilah 9 lbs 11.4 oz
Charlotte 10 lbs 0 oz

Double digit weights at one time seemed so far away (about as far away as my own potential for double digits) but they've been reached! We'd been saying that Charlotte felt heavier than her sister and this confirmed it.

Dr. Dunn went down the list of milestones that they should be hitting and we said yes to nearly every one! He said that the girls are at the low end of the bell curve for being 4 months old, they're still on the curve, which was more than is to be expected from preemies. He even said that they're doing a few things that he doesn't see from "regular" 4 month-olds. Some of the items: reaching for items in front of them, grasping items in front of them, tracking 180 degrees, holding their heads up all the way when on their bellies, turning their heads when on their bellies, pushing up with their arms when on their bellies, recognizing their names, turning toward sounds, making more than just crying sounds, rolling over in both directions (not always intentional, but it happens!), smiling and laughing, holding head without wobbling. Check-check on all!

We kept saying yes and I felt like Dr. Dunn might not be believing us, potentially seeming like over-eager parents, but when he laid Lilah face-down on the bed she pushed up with her arms, raised her head and looked him in the eye. It was pretty gratifying to have her show off. He did have to help her a little by holding down her legs so they didn't fly up in the air to off-set the amazing weight of her enormous head ("It's like an orange on a toothpick!"), but imagine what she could accomplish if her head was in a closer ratio to the rest of her!

To put it in perspective: their weights were about 0.3 percentile, heights 3rd percentile, heads 30th percentile. No joke.

We (Sean, me and Dr. Dunn) all give a lot of the credit to Nanntastic Cindy for all the great work she does with them! Yay!

The bottom line is that they are happy, healthy little girls who are doing wonderfully. Our goal for our December 6-month Well Visit is tripod-sitting, where there legs are in front of them and each arm is forward and supporting their upper body. Can they do it?

In other news, I rocked at the EMOMs sale this weekend. I was a little stressed because it took me longer than I planned to get out of the house, no surprise there but it was mostly because they (and thus I) slept until 7:30 after their 3 a.m. feeding, so I got started a lot later than I planned. So I got to the sale, drenched, at 9:15 and saw about 30 other members already shopping and another 200 non-members waiting in the downpour for the 10:00 public entry.

My first stop was to the big-ticket items: furniture. I saw a cute white crib, all taken apart, and flagged down someone from the "holding area" to put my name on it and take it out of the sale area. My mom asked me to keep an eye out for a nice looking crib, perhaps two, and this one was cute, in good condition, looks like it will convert to a toddler daybed, and only $125! For those not in the know, this is a screaming deal. Screaming. The helpers moved the headboard and I saw another headboard behind it. Wait. Is that two (2?!) cribs? I want them both!! I quickly moved to the mattress section, pointed to the two highest quality ($40 each), and said, and those, too. Walked over to the baby gates ($5 each), pointed to two and then hauled over an immaculate papasan-style swing ($30) and added it to the pile. I felt like a rich woman with personal shoppers!

I had unfortunately forgotten all my binkies in my haste to leave the house and the girls were quickly losing patience, so I headed over to clothes to see what kinds of deals I could find. Now, this sale was in the Bellevue Community College gym, which is essentially two basketball courts, and there were about 8 racks of clothes that spanned the entire width of the gym. That's a lot of clothes and I didn't have a lot of time, so I focused on sizes the girls could wear right now. The beauty of the EMOMs sale is that the sale items tend to come in two's, so I found matching long-sleeved T-shirts in pink and purple ($2), matching fleece sweatsuits and coordinating onesies in pink and purple ($5), jeans($2), and, to make my mom happy for the holidays, matching extravegant party dresses ($10 each). Rock. On.

I had to send Sean back for part of the cribs, but I loaded the rest up and considered it a highly successful day.

Later in the weekend, I had a little photo shoot in the living room for the girls. I got about 80 shots, but only posted the 10 best on Picasa:

Friday, October 16, 2009

I ♥ Bizarro

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18 weeks 4 days

At some point, I'll have to convert my titles away from the weeks and days and more toward months.

Update: Some of the data has started to trickle in on the ads and I think I'm gonna keep them. Since we started:
Page impressions 493
Clicks 33
Earnings $15.34

Not too shabby! It's not quite as intrusive as I'd anticipated, either. AdSense only pays out in $100 increments, though, so we still have yet to see baby formula out of this.

I need to go out this weekend and buy a journal for Nanntastic Cindy (my new moniker for our fantastic nanny - in case that wasn't clear) to log the daily exploits of her charges. I think I'll call it "The Astounding Adventures of Charlotte and Lilah". It's the little things that Nanntastic Cindy notices and we sometimes miss, because we have these horrid things called jobs that keep us apart, that she wants to start writing down for us and I think that it's another great momento for 'the ladies' to have later in their lives. Other than this blog, of course.

For example, in the last two weeks the girls have started ear to ear smiles and even the occassional giggle in reponse to us smiling at them or touching their cheeks. This week the girls finally noticed each other, too. Nanntastic Cindy set Lilah down next to Charlotte on their play mat and Charlotte saw her sister and got wide-eyed and stared at her. Usually they don't acknowledge each other's existence except for the accidental smack here and there. At least, I assume it's accidental. They get the benefit of the doubt until they have more coordinated hand control.

We've been working a lot with the girls physically in the last two weeks, too. I bought an exersaucer and we have a Bumpo and we've been challenging the girls to last longer and longer sitting upright in them. It will hopefully help accelerate building their core so they will sit up on their own faster. This is good, in addition to the regular reasons, because the longer they roll the backs of their heads around on the floor, the more their hair gets broken off - and they don't have a lot to spare. Between the receding hairline, the bald spot they've created, and lack of teeth, they've got the 'old man' look down. Maybe Social Security will start cutting them checks.

Nanntastic Cindy also works with them during the day, doing everything from having them track toys across their field of vision to holding their hands and helping them up to a seated position that they hold for a few seconds. She gave me some good ideas for toys to look for to help build other skills as well. She's going to school for her degree in Early Childhood Education and it just so happens that she is in the infant modules right now. Not only can she try out techniques on the girls, she can try different techniques with each girl and see if there are different results. And the girls benefit from having someone with actual knowledge! (How long would I have let them just lay on their backs before I thought of this stuff? Around the time boys started to come by for dates I probably would have realized that it was no longer such a good thing, I suppose.)

So 'the ladies' are making progress, but still aren't up to age adjusted abilities physically yet. Part of the issue is that they are still so little and their heads are so massive. (I'm not kidding. It's like an orange on a toothpick. Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid. Has it's own weather system. HEAD! MOVE!) I'm guessing they're about 9.5 pounds, but the official numbers won't be in until their 4 month well visit on Tuesday. If they weigh 9.5 pounds, then 5 of that is noggin, which is a lot to hold up and control for such little bodies! We need to get the ratio down a bit. Sean and I were both pretty thin until around 21 when our metabolism checked out and we could no longer eat anything we wanted without consequence, so there's a strong chance 'the ladies' will be on the petite side themselves. Treasure it while it lasts, sweeties.

They are doing most of the non-physical milestones for their age, like making noises other than cries, but not quite babbling. And they've finally graduated out of newborn clothes and in to 0-3 months! Unfortunately, the generous folks who gave us a wardrobe all had their babies during warm weather and very few of the outfits are long-sleeved or heavy. We're trying to layer and rely a lot on pajamas (which are really just one-piece day-time outfits at this age, right?) Maybe I'll see some cute deals at this weekend's EMOMs (Eastside Moms of Multiples) twice annual sale!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

New photos!

We have a few new photos that I took this weekend!

The girls had a great weekend filled with lots of loving arms. On Saturday, I really wanted to go to the Mill Creek Garage Sales (for those of you not in the know, the city of Mill Creek only allows garage sales twice a year - the first Saturday in May and October - so the entire city turns into one gigantic sale!). I didn't go to the May sales because I was in the hospital but my great friend Sarah went on my behalf and picked up books and toys for the girls to use later down the line. Now I knew a little better what I still needed and what to look out for.

However, bringing the girls with me would have made it challenging, to say the least, because of having to get them out at every stop and finding someone to go with me who didn't have kids of their own to bring along! So, I asked my brother's girlfriend, Auntie Kristen, if she was interested in watching the girls. Luckily, she was expecting her sister Emily to visit and that gave her a little extra confidence to take on the task. So, I hit the sales with Kristina, her daughter Evelyn (who is exactly two months older than Charlotte and Lilah), her mom, Sheryl, and a friend of her moms. Now, I never pay sticker price at a garage sale, so I got some great deals on a sit-n-play, wire wickets to keep the girls away from the rose bushes next Spring, a mini-photo book that fits in my purse, and several warm and cozy outfits. Just a Lysol wipe later and we're ready for fun!

On Sunday, my great friends, Angie and Dana, offered to come over and watch the girls so Sean and I could go out on a date. Except for an hour at a restaurant nearby for my birthday, Sean and I haven't been out alone once since the girls came home, so needless to say, we were stoked. I think I skipped my way out the door and sang, "Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" with a huge grin on my face. Since it was a Seahawks away game day, and I know how much Sean loves his Hawks, I offered to go to the Northgate Ram so he could watch the game and we could still have conversation, food and beer. One beer in and we were both showing some serious "tired eyes" and debating whether to go out to the car to nap for the rest of the date. We were SO tired. Lucky for us, when we got home the girls were down for a nap, so we decided to take a chance and close our eyes for a bit, too. Two hours later (!!!) we all woke from our naps. It was lovely.

One thing I don't understand about the whole weekend is that everyone said the girls were "great" and not fussy or crying at all. So... they just save that for us. At least that means there's hope for our friends to offer to babysit again in the future!

Friday, September 25, 2009

15 weeks 4 days

(Is it "bear with me" or "bare with me"? - either way, I'm using the new blog post editor and I swear it's missing the spellcheck and I'm not a moron. Although those two things might not be mutually exclusive.)

Ok. This ad thing is rolling. So far, we've earned $.07. Adsense apparently only pays out in $100 increments, so keep it up. The internet might be obsolete before we get a check, but that's how it goes.

This week Sean was loaned a book by a co-worker (whose name escapes me or else I would credit her!) called, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Babies". That's the name of the book - remember, I don't know the name of the co-worker. Stay with me here. The book talks about techniques to get your baby not only to fall asleep but stay asleep longer and all of the behavior that is impacted as a result. Sean admittedly scanned the book, and I still haven't read it, but one of the main points is to put the baby to bed early and reap the rewards.

So we tried it. Sean feeds the girls around 4:30-5 ish, which is when they let us know they're hungry rather than a specific schedule on our part. I get home around 6 and cuddle with the fussiest girl until she's sound asleep in my arms. Ordinarily, I'd then put her in her chair in the living room and around 8 they'd wake up and eat again. Repeat at 11, 2, 5, etc.

In this new system, once the girl falls asleep, she gets put into her bed where it's dark, so there's no visual stimuli, and the radio is on NPR. (It couldn't hurt!) Amazingly, the first night we did this, the girls slept until 3 in the morning. That's 10 hours without eating and over 6 hours of sleep. Did I say amazing? We were a little uncertain if it was ok for them to go that long without eating until we remembered that when they're hungry, they let us know. In no uncertain terms. So, I wake up and feed them at 3 and then they sleep until the nanny arrives just before 7. And even better, when they wake up, they're calm and patient and pleasant. I don't know how it works. It's magic and it doesn't make any sense to me, but I like it.

The drawback is that Sean adjusted the schedule slightly on Wednesday because he had to pick up his sister at the ferry, so the girls were fed a little early and then fell asleep in the car a little earlier than usual. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to get them back on schedule yet, but I'm eager to because I think this thing could really work out. I hesitate to say it, but I almost feel rested. Please don't let this admission jinx me.

We've now seen Lilah roll from her stomach to her back! Sean hovered with the video camera for several minutes when it looked like she was making progress, but when it didn't look like it was going to happen, he turned it off and stepped away. Suddenly, *roll*! She did it! And we missed recording it. So we turned her over, turned on the camera and waited. (Is that cruel? I picture her thinking - Jeez, guys, I worked freakin' hard to get in this position and now you make me start over?! Come on!) It only took her about a minute to repeat and we finally got it on tape. Another milestone is that when Sean was playing with Charlotte, tickling her tummy and her cheek, she smiled and giggled! It was the first time she had smiled and laughed in response to us, and it's another 3 month milestone that we can check off the list. We keep getting surprised by how much these girls are keeping up with the milestones for their non-adjusted age. After all, you don't see many 8 pound babies rolling over and holding their heads up independently. But they do have a *bit* of high-acheiver in their lineage. We'll have them quoting Shakespeare and tuning carburetors by their first birthdays. Wait and see.

In other news, I haven't blogged about this yet, but I'm having continued issues with my c-section incision and it's really getting on my last nerve (no pun intended). Apparently, the Labor and Delivery folks were instructed to try out a new type of stitch called a quill stitch, which is how they closed my incision. The perinatologist (whom we absolutely adore) described it as a stitch that works best for "overweight oncology patients". I'm still not sure of the distinction. Either way, as things healed up and swelling went down, the stitches started to loosen. And when they loosen, they rub their way up to the surface, causing small abscesses along the way until they finally break through the skin. There were a few that we had to snip or else they would continue to rub and cause me discomfort, but now that enough time has passed, once they get to the surface, they have started to dissolve enough that they break off on their own. About once a week I have a new stitch start to have problems. At my 8 week check-up, I let the perinatologist know that this was happening and she said that I wasn't the only one experiencing this problem and they have now stopped using that stitch. Unfortunately, there is no solution except to let it run it's course. I filed a quality of care complaint so that UWMC was aware that this was happening and not do it to anyone else, but the nature of those complaints means that I can't know the findings or outcomes. Bummer.

Hey, don't forget to vote for Best of the Northwest: http://best.king5.com/contests/best-of-western-washington/4749 (yes, you have to register) Sean and I are particularly big fans of Luke Burbank for Local Radio Personality, so if you don't have your own preference, cast your vote in his direction for us, will ya? http://best.king5.com/luke-burbank/biz/133325 He has to at least beat that lame schmoozer, Fitz. Sur-iously.

And finally, this Saturday our cul-de-sac is having a group garage sale, so come by and see what kinds of things we're trying to unload on unsuspecting strangers... or you.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Selling out

6 Comments

In the next few days, you might notice something different about our blog: ads.

I resisted for a long time because I post for friends and family (and their friends, family, colleagues, pets and assorted other associates) and because I hate ads. Hate ads. Especially the ones that use key words from the site as though the person were actively promoting that item.

But, word has it that a lot of people read this blog; people that I've never met but who hopefully now feel like they know us a little. And we now have twins. And between diapers, formula, childcare and medical costs, the budget is running pretty tight for the foreseeable future. And I do offer some semblance of entertainment for you, yes? (Just say yes. I don't need to know the truth.)

So, I gave in. Maybe the ads will force me to be more interesting/humorous/blog-a-riffic so you're more likely to visit our site regularly. Maybe that will mean that you'll pass us along to your other friends. Who knows? Maybe we'll earn 13 cents a month and I'll take it down because my integrity is worth more than that. How much is my integrity worth, you might ask? Well, AdSense won't disclose how much I can expect to see, so right now it's on a sliding scale.

Either way, don't be alarmed by the links you'll see soon. Just click on them and consider it a small way you can keep the girls and Roscoe fed and clothed. Well, we don't actually clothe Roscoe except for his Seahawks jersey and the uber-hilarious paw protectors for when he's around barnacles, but you get the idea.

And now for my next assignment for you: Who reads this thing, anyway? I'm super curious. If you get a chance, could you either add yourself as a "follower" (there is a section on the left side here called "Followers" where you can click "Follow this blog") or write me a comment to this post to let me know who you are? Perhaps something like, "I don't want to give my name, but I'm a friend of your mother and I check the blog weekly. I want more pictures, you slacker." Or maybe, "I work with your friend, (name here), and I only check this blog because she always leaves it up on our shared work computer. But I guess that counts." You get the idea.

And, for those who want me to bring back Cooter's biography, I'll have to decline for awhile. Cooter (oh crap, I'm starting to cry just writing this because I haven't fully admitted this until now) isn't with us any longer. One day about a month ago he just didn't come back home. He's not a roamer and he's neutered and microchipped, so we don't think he's off gathering new material for his book. There is a large greenbelt in our neighborhood and there have been coyotes spotted and heard howling. We think that he's gone for good. It breaks my heart because he was the coolest cat ever and only 2 years old and he deserved to pass away in his sleep 20 years from now on top of his scratching post perch, dreaming about catching the heron that eats all the goldfish in our neighbor's pond. Instead, I picture him surprised and scared and in pain and it hurts me to think I couldn't be there for him. We miss him so much that Sean and I both have dreams that he comes back and waits for us in the house, but then we wake up and know that he's not really coming back. So, Cooter's entries are probably retired, but rest assured that I'll eventually come up with another regular entry for your reading pleasure.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Twin haiku #1

I answer the phone
Two demons shriek in my ear
Please call back later

Thursday, September 17, 2009

14 weeks 3 days

Maybe the mid-week transition is what does the girls in. Maybe they're in a new phase. Maybe they're the devil.

Last night I slept from 9:45-9:50 (yes, that would be 5 minutes in which I was actually asleep -and dreaming! - before the girls woke up), 11-1, 1:30-4. After that, Charlotte fell asleep post-feeding but Lilah flat out refused in the only way she knows how: screaming and writhing. She finally shut her eyes for the last time just before 6. I put her in her crib and my alarm went off. I hit snooze and curled up in a ball in my bed for just enough time to warm the sheets again. It was such a tease.

I don't understand why these girls would suddenly need to eat every three hours and sleep even less. I'm actually hoping they have a growth spurt soon so that they crash at night and sleep for up to 4 hours. That would be so awesome. So. Awesome.

So, today is Thursday and ordinarily people who blog would say something like, "Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday" or "The weekend is SO close" (picture me saying those things with dripping sarcasm) but not this girl. That's because the weekend is not a reprieve for us. Nothing stops except my commute. I take all the feedings on Friday nights since I don't work the next day, and Sean takes all the feedings on Monday nights for the same reasons, so we can give each other just the tiniest bit of brief relief. Sean actually texted me yesterday to say that all he wants for his birthday, which is 2 months away, is 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Maybe I should add that to my Christmas list.

On the plus side, the nanny, Cindy, is an absolute godsend. She arrives at 6:45, sets her bag on the counter and immediately reaches out her arms for a baby. She may actually go through withdrawal over the weekends. She speaks softly and sweetly to them and texts us with photos of what they're up to during the day. At one point she said to me, "You know, the hard part about feeding both of them at the same time is that I can't make eye contact with them both at once!" I thought to myself, "Look them in the eye?! I'm so focused just getting them fed that it never occurred to me that would be important!"

So, she is wonderful with the girls. But a side bonus is that when she has down time, she cleans. Laundry, dishes, dusting, toilets - if it needs to be done and she has a chance, she does it. Now, maybe I tend to spend any down time with the girls attempting to get a nap, but I don't know how she has the time for all of this. All I know is that she takes such a burden off me by doing these chores that I've actually (in jest) suggested having more kids when the girls go to school just so we can keep having her help us! When I get home at the end of the day, I'm not looking at a pile of dishes or "Roscoe bunnies" floating down the hallway and thinking about what a disaster the house is and how I'll never see it clean again. Instead, I can enjoy holding a girl in my arms and maybe even pour myself a glass of wine. And for a brief moment I forget that another sleepless night is creeping closer as the sun goes down. Kind of like a C-grade vampire movie.

Monday, September 14, 2009

14 weeks

On Saturday, my mom and grandma came over in the morning to offer me a break so that I could go to the gym. Unfortunately, I was so tired from the long week back at work that I opted to stay home and take a nap. The girls did not cooperate. I find it really hard to sleep when I can hear them crying, even if I know it is being taken care of. It's not that I want to go out and help, I just can't sleep through it.

My mom laid the girls belly-down on a blanket at some point and Charlotte was wriggling around so much that she actually rolled over, witnessed by both my mom and grandma. I would have thought this to be a fluke except that Sean saw her do it again today! Way to go, Charlotte. Her other accomplishment today was a diaper that looked to be filled with an entire pudding cup - a massive blowout that went up her back and down to her socks.

I can't help but take a little joy in Sean having his first full day at home today. He has been nothing but supportive of me when I had the girls on my own, and never judgmental about me being in my pajamas when he gets home at 1 in the afternoon. But it's rewarding somehow to have someone else in my shoes, knowing firsthand the frustrations and exhaustion involved. I feel for him, I really do. The girls didn't cut him any breaks - waking up at 4 and sleeping in shifts until noon. That's 8 hours of crying. How do they know that the other one has fallen asleep or is ready to take the waking shift? It's like a psychic teeter-totter.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

"Uh-oh. They caught us!"

13 weeks 3 days

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I am so tired today. So tired that I'm on the verge of tears for no other reason than that I'm tired. I'm a walking zombie with slightly less dirt on my clothing. Apparently the fact that I'm back at work is lost on my daughters, the succubi. (Succubi: noun, plural of succubus 1. a demon in female form, said to draw the energy out of a person until they are so exhausted they die.)

For the last two weeks or so, the girls eat at around 5:30 in the evening, fuss and squirm until around 8, finally are coerced into sleep using a series of rocking movements, wrapping in warm blankets, and shushing until we're pretty sure our own ears have lost the ability to hear that frequency, and then put to bed. To our amazement, they have then slept until 1 or 2 in the morning. Sean and I use that middle time to get ready for bed, prepare milk and bottles, get the coffee-maker ready and set for the break of dawn, and preparing lunches and work clothes so that we can sleep as close to departure time as possible and still be ready for the day. Sometimes, we even eat dinner. But not always. Sleep is, after all, a hot commodity these days.

If we're lucky, the girls take 30 minutes to eat (total if they are being fed simultaneously by both of us, 30 each if only one of us can feed them at a time), fall quickly into what we have termed a "milk coma", and sleep until 4 when we do it again. Or rather, I do it again, because Sean leaves for work around 3:30.

Now that I'm back at work, that 4:00 feeding all by myself can end around 5:30. My alarm is set for 6:00 so that I can leave the house by 6:45 and meet my carpool. So effectively, all sleep is over at 4. If I fall asleep at 9 (ha!), I get about 5.5 hours of sleep a night, none of it in more than 3 hour increments. Until last night.

The girls ate at 5:30 and 6, but then Lilah effectively fought sleep until 8. Sean had made dinner while I tried to soothe her and we scarfed it down while running interference for her pacifier-ejection skills. Once we moved them to their beds and did whatever voodoo we thought would keep them asleep after that transition, I did a quick mental run-down of all the tasks I would still need to do: pump, make milk, clean the bottles, fill the bottles, put the hot-water mugs into the microwave for quick starting later, clean up after dinner, take a shower, dry hair, put on pajamas, make sure my lunch was ready, make sure my clothes were ready, put away the groceries I brought home that were still in bags on the counter. Was that it? Probably not, but that was the current list.

At 9:45, I crawled into bed next to my snoring husband. Before he had fallen asleep around 8, he looked at his watch and said "4 hours. 45 minutes." "Huh?" "That's how long I get to sleep." He had to be at work at 2 in the morning for the next two days. He may not have meant it, but those words stuck in my head when the girls started crying to be fed at 10:30. The guilt seed was planted. I got up, since Sean has the incredible Rip Van Winkle ability to sleep through the grunts and cries until he actually hears my voice asking for help, and grabbed the first girl. I brought her out to the kitchen and pressed "Start" on the microwave so that the mugs of water would be ready to heat the bottles when I returned. I changed her diaper in the near darkness so as not to wake the other demon and begin a symphony of shrieks in unison and then brought her back out to the living room.

The one good thing about night feedings? Catching up on all my favorite DVRed programs. Last night it was the series premiere of America's Next Top Model. It was a 2 hour episode, so even with fast-forwarding through commercials, I was pretty sure I would have something decent to watch at every feeding. The. Demon. Took. 45. Minutes. Perhaps she was distracted by Tyra's ego? It is pretty awe inspiring, after all. Either way, when the milk coma started, it was 11:15. I repeated the cycle with the next girl and crawled into bed near midnight.

Sean kissed me goodbye around 1:30. One of the demons woke up at 2. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Crawl into bed at 3. Awake at 4 in complete disbelief that either of these girls could possibly be hungry already. Do a silent recounting of past transgressions to determine which might have possibly have earned me this particular spot in hell*. Feed one girl. Feed the other. Crawl into bed near 5:30 thinking, "A half-hour is at least something, right?" Alarm goes off. Lilah starts crying at 6:15. Attempt to appease her with a binky for just another 30 minutes until Cindy, the nanny can arrive, hoping that it will buy me enough time to brush my teeth and not be undressing when she finally walks down the hallway. Just barely make it because of the constant need to reinsert the binky after repeatedly searching a 5 foot radius around Lilah to find where she could have possibly ejected it. When Cindy arrives, Lilah is screaming enough to finally wake up Charlotte. Poor Cindy.

Thus was my night.

Before you think that I am on the verge of running away to join the circus, as my dad used to tell us about my mother, there was a moment of redemption amongst the Tyra mails and yawns. As I asked Charlotte to please keep eating at one of the feedings, she turned her wide eyes to me and looked at my face as though she was memorizing every detail. I smiled and she cocked her head as though this gesture was new to her and she was really seeing me for the first time. I stopped and stared, wondering what was going on in that newly forming mind, and kissed her forehead. She kept looking at me. It was pretty sweet.

But I still need a nap.

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*I looked it up. I'm in the second circle of hell, which Wikipedia describes as:

"Second Circle (Lust): Those overcome by lust are punished in this circle. They are the first ones to be truly punished in Hell. These souls are blown about to and fro by a violent storm, without hope of rest. This symbolizes the power of lust to blow one about needlessly and aimlessly."

This makes perfect sense since lust was ostensibly what got us into this. Good to know.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

11 weeks 1 day

There has been so much going on over the last few weeks that I'm not even sure where to start writing!

We've settled into a routine of sorts with the girls. We've gone to an on-demand feeding pattern so that the girls are actually hungry when they go to eat and will eat more, just less often. They still go 3 hours sometimes, but sometimes the heavens smile upon us and they go 5! When one girl fusses for food, the other has to eat at the same time or else we'd get into a vicious cycle of constant feeding. At night this can be tricky, though. When I'm all alone and one girl gets fussy but the other sleeps, I can feed the hungry girl, put her back to bed and then wake up the other and feed her as well. If I'm not lucky, both girls get fussy at the same time and I have to figure out a way to feed them at the same time. Either way, it can be an hour and a half of feeding before I finish, another 20 minutes if one of the girls doesn't want to fall back asleep, and then we do it all again 3 hours from the time we started. All this means that I get about 1-2 hours of straight sleep at any given time.

Luckily, our incredible niece, Darian, has come over from Sequim to help us throughout the month. She cuddles the girls, takes on the nighttime feedings with me, folds laundry, does dishes, and is just generally a huge help in getting through the day. We bought her a netbook to thank her for giving up her summer, but I think she would have done it for free just because she loves these girls so much. Plus, it gave her a chance to go to Alderwood Mall and the Marysville Outlet Mall to do her school shopping!

Sean took three weeks off vacation when both girls were finally home, but it went WAY too fast - for both of us. It's the most time we've ever been able so spend together and the most time Sean has ever been off work. I missed him so much the day he went back, and not just because I had to take every night feeding on my own.

Around the time he had to go back to work, Charlotte started getting colicky. She would start crying around 9 and nothing would get her to stop. Nothing. Sean started calling her "the velociraptor" because her 8 decibel shrieks sounded like the velociraptors from Jurassic Park in the moment before they attack. And because we'd be in the process of trying to comfort her on our chest, her tiny little lungs with the power of concert speakers would be positioned perfectly next to our eardrums. Sean already had hearing damage from the military but now it's a lost cause entirely. We'll be 80-years old and I'll be practically blind and he'll be stone-deaf and we'll look out for each other. It will be cute as long as one of us doesn't think it's funny to leave the other hanging once in awhile, which is entirely likely. I'll tell our daughters all his secrets and when he asks, I'll say, "Nothing, dear!" He'll make gestures of craziness right in front of me and when I ask he'll say, Nothing, Dear!" with an even bigger smile.

The girls are starting to show their personalities in small ways. Lilah is much more reactive to things and we call her a drama queen. She has discovered her highest octave and squeals at that pitch when she's frustrated. Charlotte is overall more patient and will just watch the world around her when she's awake. Unless she's hungry. Charlotte is always the first to let us know that she's hungry by crying uncontrollably. Lilah would probably sleep for a few more hours if we let her. Charlotte was born with more hair and Lilah still hasn't caught up, so right now that's the easiest way to tell them apart. When they have hats on is when it gets tricky.

Almost two weeks ago they were weighed at the pediatrician's office (we LOVE LOVE LOVE Dr. Dunn at Northshore Group Health) and Lilah was 6 lbs 13 oz, Charlotte was 6 lbs 11 oz. We figure they're now almost 7.5 lbs since they've been putting on an ounce a day for the last two months. They've at last grown out of their preemie outfits and into the newborn clothes!

This brings to mind one important point we've encountered: since these girls are just now getting in to newborn status, the girls are essentially newborn babies for an extra three months, and everything that goes with it. (Several feedings a night, inability to retrieve their own pacifiers, colic, etc.) Surprisingly, they are already meeting milestones expected of two-month olds, though. They clasp their own hands, follow us with their eyes, when placed on their bellies they lift their heads for more than 10 seconds, pushes with legs when on a surface, responds to loud sounds, etc. The only thing they don't do at this point is smile and laugh in response to us and I can't wait for the day they start doing that!

I go back to work the day after Labor Day and it's getting harder to think about being away from the girls for that long each day. We did finally hire a nanny and she is going to be a lifesaver. She currently works for a Learning Academy but wanted to be more one-on-one with kids and form relationships that lasted longer than the year they were in a given class. We were really hoping to find someone who wanted to be part of the family - would go to birthday parties and take joy in their achievements just like we would - and that is exactly what she was looking for as well. Her kids are all but grown, the youngest is 15, and she's eager to have babies in her arms again. I can't say that I blame her. These girls are super cute. I just hope that she doesn't get overwhelmed with the demands of these two all at once!

Ok, those are the thoughts off the top of my head. Hopefully this random series of tidbits will appease those checking the blog every day in the hopes of a new post. I'll try to do better in the future *salute*

From Charlotte and Lilah

Saturday, August 8, 2009

It's August already?!